Romantic Relationships

Struck by thunderbolt I was, suddenly realizing why things typically seem to go awry. Not so much for me, as I’m fairly unflaky when it comes to relationships, but there’s many events that unfold frequently for me to watch and witness. The simple realization, on my part anyway, is that I consider relationships to be an enhancement of the “as is” status in life, this status obviously differs from person to person. An addition, something enhancing, something good/positive. This is the very foundation my thoughts are founded on here. We all watch TV, or at least have at some point in life – Disney and its ideas are probably infused into everyone’s memories, most certainly for those under us that consider themselves to be romantics. To clarify, though, I’m no such romantic, nor have such desires.

Speaking of enhancement and desire, here comes the twist. The twist can be described in a single word: Needs / Requirements / Demands – They’re all legitimate terms for one and the same thing dependent on the angle you’re taking on the subject. By this I don’t mean simplistic things such as visual features, or personality traits, but actions that need to be performed for you in order to be happy, or feel fulfilled. For some it’s the desire of romance, with rose petals and candle light dinners, for others it may be certain sexual actions that must take place. Going a layer deeper, these things could be considered voids a person has, for who the person in question is looking for a partner to fill them. I’ve already ranted about how relationships are typically about egocentricity and personal gain, this one however was a mind-blowing revelation for me, though. It’s basically a person’s expectation that the desires in question get fulfilled to their satisfaction, as otherwise the relationship isn’t functioning, or is a “bad relationship”. Basically, people expect other people to take care of their needs, as if they actually had any obligation of doing so. This I find to be incredible mad, thinking about it. Egocentricity should have its limit somewhere, although it doesn’t seem to.

“What about you then?!” – Well, I’ve actually wondered whether or not it’s a personality trait that’s at work here, or if it varies from individual to individual without regards to actual personality type. According to a quick poll, albeit a tad short on votes (but still satisfactory enough for me on the topic) the general consensus was clear: Majority of those functioning like me do agree with my premise on this topic. So what is my view? As I stated, I see relationships as enhancement of the “as is” of a person’s life. In that sense it implies to me that my life should be completely fine and functioning by and on its own before attempting romantic relationships. This means I am not placing myself at the mercy of others to fulfill my hidden desires, nor depend on them to the point I was needy, or they’d become a necessity in my life. It’s really quite simple; I’ve a checklist. Do I consider you smart enough? Do I consider you good looking enough? Do I consider your personality / values to be good enough? 3 times yes and you got a winner. I don’t care about anything else really. I have no voids or needs that I need others for to fulfill, nor am I giving up my independence. Now, with what follows many girls will shake their heads in disgust, and all that do, please do note that I couldn’t care less. In simple terms, although sharing a negative undertone, I’m settling for the flaw to speak. If my minimums are fulfilled I don’t go look around for someone that fulfills them even better, bigger or greater. I’m also likely to never going to tell you that you’re the cutest, smartest, or most amazing persons to exist to date. Yea, deal breaker for many, I know. I’ll live. Technically it’s a “great you’re there, lets enjoy the ride for what it is” combined with a “if you weren’t there I’d still do fine, obviously be unhappier, though”.

Of course differences and arguments are part of relationships and there’s no such thing as permanent smooth sailing, most certainly mine aren’t. What is my message here then? It’s simple as obvious, as the second paragraph highlighted the struggles I see quite strongly. Quit making yourself dependent on others, learn to take care of yourself without relying on a partner to make up for your flaws, or fill your voids, last but not least take a look inside and consider whether or not your ideas aren’t a bit egoistic and maybe, just maybe think about what obligations a partner in a relationships has. You’re likely to come to the same conclusion I have come to: No one owes you a damn thing, most certainly not out of obligation. In that sense, it’s time to come to your senses and enjoy the moments for what they are and those that matter. Laughing, enjoying togetherness, warmth, breathing, walks, jokes. Not some (hidden) obligations you think will make you happy, and although they may, chances are you care more about the action(s) in question than who they were performed by. You can’t have it all, you won’t have it all, and most certainly you should not.

In that sense, learn to take care of yourself first and foremost before throwing yourselves into relationships, as your partner certainly shouldn’t be burdened by expectations you can’t even take care of by yourself.

You are a unique snowflake – Just like everybody else

Hey, I’m on a roll today. Go me.

Anyway, the title has to be one of my favorite quotes of all time. Now sit down, drop your self entitlement as your specialness just went down the drain, and learn!

Being somewhat highly introverted and socially inept to a point naturals and extroverts would be completely bamboozled by my inability to socialize I had no choice but to logically strip it all apart, inter-human relationships of all kinds. Why would one do that?! Well, to obtain profound understanding, that’s if you’re a rational person anyway. Granted, not all ISTPs are as dumb I am in that regard, but I’m sure most were at some point in their life. In that sense, Internet ISTP-Hi5!

In fact I at first I didn’t meant to analyze these things at all, as I had the habit of rationalizing too many things away, stripping myself of possible adventure and fun to be had, practical to the bone. Though, just because you have technical and analytical understanding it doesn’t have to lead rationalizing things away, as that’s an entirely separated process I’m responsible for – not the analyzing itself. I once said “I’m the master of small talk, for I don’t say a word.”, I couldn’t have been more accurate with that – lets face it, though – it’s not going to get me anywhere, ever. Changes only occur if you work towards them, things never fall into your lap. At least my lap doesn’t show much if that was the case. Well, moving on then.

The very bottom line is, whether or not you agree, humans aren’t much more than complex and variable machines, or robots so to speak. Some more complex than others, some may even truly unique, although that’s doubtful, but overall many people work the same way. You disagree? Well, fuck you then. If that made you upset, feel attacked, or anything of the like, you just proved my point. To make it simpler and more evident, though – if I was to meet you in a train and would punch you in the face for no good reason, you’d be pretty pissed at me, regardless of what your counteraction towards the punch would be. See? I give certain input and can expect certain output (action – reaction). In this example it’s likely that 90% of the males would stomp me into the ground for having hit them for no good reason, and who could blame them? Females probably give me a solid “what the fuck is wrong with you!”, much like bystanders and other witnesses would. You agree? Glad I got you onto the same page then.

Admittedly, punching someone in the face is a bit drastic, but it was an example to carry the point home. This is however no different from socializing. Socializing at its bone is nothing else but manipulation, not necessarily with malicious intends, but manipulation none the less. You don’t agree? Well, fuck you again then. An example would be asking a random person on the street what time it is – if you aren’t a complete moron chances are you’ll take the nice approach. “Good day Sir/Ma’am, would you mind telling me what time it is?” – we approach the person in question in a nice manner, as we expect and equal gesture in return, since humans are wired that way. You approach me nice, I response nice. You could also go and ask him this way; “Yo, homeboy, gimme the time please, bro” and chances are people will look at you weird rather than giving you what you’ve asked for – we naturally choose the approach that’s likely to yield the desired outcome, we’re all playing the game.

Now, what is friendship then? Analytically seen it’s rather simple. It’s two people that benefit each other in the loosest sense of the word. Friendship is tied to a social standard and obligations that are manipulation all in itself, due to exactly these. Meaning if you ask a favor as a friend you have a different expectation as to what answer you’ll receive, while the peer in question knows that being a friend may means biting the sour apple at times, so the peer is pressured by his obligatory status to give in to the request, assuming it’s nothing too extraordinary. Here some people may claim “but I love to help out a friend in need”, or “I’m helpful by nature” – I call crap on that, though. It may be true that this applies to you, but because you like it as it provides you with fulfillment and joy, it makes you happy, feel appreciated. Basically you do it indirectly for your own well-being rather than the other person’s (at best equally distributed, unless “in love”), whether or not it’s a conscious progress in your brain. Not meaning to be demeaning by any means, we’re all the same egoistic pricks, just some more evidently than others. We’re all out for our own well-being first and foremost, I’m no different.

Don’t misunderstand me though, I’m not implying any of this was bad, quite the opposite in fact. There’s nothing wrong about two peers equally benefiting each other if the resonance is a pleasant one.

Socializing is all about giving input and receiving output, ideally the desired output – so begin learning what the correct input has to be to accomplish what you’re looking for.

Speaking of “The Game” we’re all playing, it was an awesome read, in fact the first book I’ve ever genuinely read from cover to cover, last but not least because I put my nerd pride on the line here, losing the game isn’t an option, not for me anyway. So, what’s the book about? The Game is basically telling you a story about a Pickup-Artist (PUA) community. Not only is it hilarious in its humor, but also underlines my analytical thoughts of human interaction. Since socializing at its very core is manipulation you just have to learn how people function, and once you do know it becomes easy to get what you want. Once you learn what input to give for the desired outcome you basically become a master of socializing. While the book focuses on getting laid for most part, it takes an interesting, and the all the better turn towards the end and its moral of the story.

While I recommend this book to almost anyone I’m not advocating the PUA lifestyle, at all. The book even differentiates between “naturals” and “non-naturals” itself. There are people who naturally got “it” that enables them to draw people towards them, and there are those, like me, and perhaps plenty other introverted thinkers, who need a system to work with that makes sense in their head. Given the book’s turn towards the end and the natural nature of an ISTP, all I can say, to fellow ISTP’s anyway, we don’t play the game by nature, and we shouldn’t bother getting into it. Yet the self-improvement parts of the books and the analytical structure of the story are rather valuable information for the more inept ones of us, especially if you decide to abstract and apply them in a broader way than simply getting laid, or a date.

Well, ISTPs are said to be late bloomers to begin with, so with my almost 23 I hope I’m almost there. The book itself isn’t related to personality types at all, or myer-briggs and the like, although combining the two only makes it all the more entertaining in terms of a intellectual pursuit.

Moving on to my last agenda. The topic of love. Yes, love. What is love? Do you know? Do I know? Is it individually definable? As mentioned in my previous entry I consider it a lifestyle, it being a choice for most part, rather than what the term of love is often used as synonym for these days, which would be “infatuation”. They’re two completely different things. Infatuation is not love, but a situation caused by your hormones going nuts. Once settled down infatuation either does turn into love, or it vanishes without leaving a trace of itself. Bottom line being however, infatuation is not a state of being that could be upheld permanently – assuming it was possible, though, it could be considered the most beautiful suicide option out there, as death would kind of be inevitable if you were infatuated for really long periods of time.

So what’s my message here? Nothing really, but perhaps for you to re-think a few things about yourself and your views in regards to that topic. I’ve skipped the whole teenager lovey dovey crap for a reason back in highschool, apparently only to realize though, that it seems to be no different from back then now that I’m approaching my mid 20′s. Can’t wait to be 30 I guess, at least within there lie my hopes of things taking a turn for the better.

Though, it’s not exactly upsetting me, I take it with the grain of salt it’s meant to be taken with – so ultimately I get entertained by people faceplanting all over the world in their naivety.

Since love is a choice, or arguably an action in itself, you’re best of to ditch whatever Disney managed to plant inside your heads. Now, I’m not saying romantic love didn’t exist, as it obviously does, it however is an entirely different form of love than love in itself, and none I’d be willing to be practice, not for longer periods of time anyway. In that sense the desired romantic love may not have a longer longevity than the aforementioned infatuation period – in fact, at times, they may be even one and the same thing.

Ah well, enough of that, though.

I’ve long obtained the wisdom of knowing that a fair share of people are lost causes and won’t even necessarily learn through first hand mistakes. I take comfort in the thought that those may or may not become wiser as they become older, though this may means these insights come too late, although one simply could have understood and agreed with me.

Good Day!

The simple formula to win at life?

Hooray!

I think I found it, or so I’d like to believe. Over the past two months I managed to flip my life from complete crap with a doom and gloom future around to something that’s actually worth looking towards to, and all that took was a phone call whose very definition couldn’t be anything short of ‘fateful’ of sorts. Well, I don’t believe in fate but only in my personal awesomeness, in that sense I simply rocked the house and boxed my way through to the goal I yearned for. This year I can finally drop out of University after a good two years of drifting that has gotten me nowhere, of course that is the expected result if one throws oneself into something one in reality doesn’t want to bother with. So, after the phone call of my future employer offering me the apprentice ship starting September my life took a turn for the better in less than 2 minutes.  Well, I now could rant how I hate applying for jobs because it will inevitably never truly be in your hands whether or not an employer will pick you but theirs, but since this time around I was the lucky one I shall not, however self-centered that may sound.

Though, what’s gotten me to my “upbeat” state, given that I still had to convince people to employ me by undergoing assessment centers? The answer is cliché as well as simple, and although I’m likely to puke over my keyboard stating this; it only took me to fall in love once more, even if the duration wasn’t a long one and the state has long been left behind me again. Seeing how my life crashed and burned right in front of my eyes back in ’08  I haven’t exactly been the most happiest person on the planet, and I’m still not as I haven’t turned a blind eye towards all the BS going on in this world – however, my perception and mindset has undergone quite the transformation from its former limited state and it required nothing else but a tad of love on my end. Having awakened from a state of trance things became quite clear once again; everyone’s their own luck’s smith. To love is an actual choice, unlike romantic love, which is a feeling. To care, to love, to live, they’re all choices one has to make for themselves. They’re self-centered, egoistic choices that affect one’s own well-being, and possibly that of others, but one simply has to realize that a healthy amount of egocentricity/egoism is necessary in this world and not something that is wrong, although I generally agree with the consensus that egocentricity is bad if anything.

Having had the burden of absolute uncertainty taken off my shoulders gave me so much more flexibility, and more over new breathing room to grow into that I feel like I can do about anything which then causes me to end up with a brain freeze because choosing something when there’s an unlimited amount of options isn’t exactly an easy feet for me. I’m only at the very beginning of growing into the newly obtained space, but it already feels like a major breakthrough, or being directly in front of one anyway. Having had the chance to refine my values, ideals, ideas and morals in silence in the years of my basement dwelling it’s now time to live and share them with others, whether or not they like it. Not meaning I was out for confrontation, quite the opposite even, but knowing for myself what is right and what is wrong I don’t need to rely on external input in those areas and there are plenty of situations where you have to simply overrule other people’s desires, opinions and actions knowing that it is the correct route, whether or not they’d like to acknowledge it and/or see it now. Sometimes certain decisions are no longer an option but become a necessity, in which case I’m more than willing to choose for you to prevent wrong doings.

I’m not mother Theresa, nor will I ever be, because my care only shoots for a specific few at a time, but I’ll make any difference I can if it’s within my power, because I’ve certainly seen and experienced more than enough unpleasant situations in my ever so short life to know what’s helpful to experience and go through and want leaves unnecessary scars. Some will learn to love me for it, some will come to hate me for it, regardless of interpersonal relationship results however the decisions in question will always be the correct ones. How fortunate I don’t require other people’s approval.

I haven’t lost any of my straight forwardness, in fact I’ve only refined it if anything – since the more refined your ideas, ideals and morals become, the easier it become to act, explain and verbalize them. To say it in the Duke’s words: “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum.”.

What’s the formula he has mentioned in the title then? Well, still working on the perfect phrasing I guess, the breakthrough however moves along the lines of “The day you make life live worthy is the day you’ve won.”. Now, no idea whether or not someone else managed to reach a similar conclusion (be said if their wasn’t, by all means), but it’s always more helpful to get profound realization from within than reading a famous quote, last but not least because the gravity of understanding are of different worlds.

Naturally archiving this is a lot tougher on those living in the present and the reasons may be as easily lost as they were obtained originally. I for one am going to cling on my current reason for as long as I possibly can, or until a better reason crosses my path.

The short version of a long road

Been a while. A long while.

I spent a lot of my Interwebz free time last year getting into MBTI, a personality theory system that attempts to explain human behaviors, strengths and short comings dependent on the type they test as. Americans are likely to be familiar with Myer-Briggs as it’s widely spread and even acknowledged in their society to the point you’re likely to take such tests during highschool, college or when applying for a job.

As stated, it of course is only a theory and cannot be applied to the real world with 100% accuracy, but believe me that it comes close enough to be of good use for anyone that decides to get into it.

Here’s the drill, every human can be categorized into one of the 16 Myer-Briggs types consisting of 4 letters of epic description. You’ll of course hardly ever find anyone that ranks 100% per letter respectively, meaning most people are likely to share strengths and weaknesses of multiple personality types at the same time – you technically overlap while a certain type description will still accurately nail your very inner sanctum’s behaviors. These things develop as we grow up alongside of the cognitive functions we use, which can used to further verify what type we are – this means that by the end of puberty we’re a pre-defined being that looks at the world in a certain way and perceives things in pre-set ways – this will not change again, no matter how hard you try or are trying defy your personality type.

Everyone is of course able to resort to cognitive functions that aren’t ones strength, however it is very draining on ones energy and can only be upheld for so long until you fall back into your normal ‘you mode’ in which you then recharge lost energy for when it’s needed again.

So why do I tell you this? Well, mainly because it’s fun to talk about, obviously – but also because of the realizations I’ve obtained throughout the process of digging myself into the field. In retrospective and looking at older analytical posts of mine I was able to widen my perspective and acquire further understanding for people that tick different than I. That doesn’t mean I’m willing to excuse any behavior and certain priorities will always be null and void when seen from a maturity aspect.

Not only am I able to understand others better, but also myself (surprise!) – I was able to figure out quite a bunch of things, however slowly it may was to resolve them once located. Not that I’m done already by any means, but changing oneself is usually easier said that done, even if it’s such a simple thing as changing ones mindset. I’ve realized that I’ve been on the unhealthy edge of my personality type for longest time of life sounds great, aye? It’s not as bad as it sounds, as there’s not too much wrong with it inevitably, given that I’ve managed thus far just fine but there’s room for improvement, so why no strive for it?

So, here I am, all by my lonesome in the midst of the Internet trying to change my life around, or re-vamp it for that matter. Easily said, but turning out to be slightly impossible as it were. One of my major goals for instance would be to re-build a social life to start being more outgoing and stop living within my own head. While my head certainly is a very comfortable place to be in it’s unhealthy to a degree simply because I do constantly over-think things – at times to the point I’ll get stuck and loop around endlessly without any chance of breaking the cycle, which then can easily throw me into distress / depression / obsession. Even though one may be aware of that, going against ones core habits is a battle that isn’t won easily and I keep on catching myself doing what I told myself to be a taboo for a while.

So, how does one get out of the basement to turn his life around? A good question indeed. For I have been in the basement and inside my head for the past decade a lot of social peers have ceased to exist but I am one to approach people as if it was just yesterday we last met, even though it may have been 6 years. Still, spending that much time in ones head gives you a lot of insights and to a degree maturity – insights and maturity I don’t seem to find within peers of my age, but only people that have lived a good 10 to 20 years more than I, which is frustrating to say the least. I’m by no means implying that I’d be an adult or a grown up, in fact you’ll probably never hear me say that, but the disparity between me and people I used to hang with becomes apparent so quickly that I find not much to connect with with other people. I don’t click with them, not even partially dependent on who it is. The wavelengths are about as asynchronous they could be. I don’t mean to be judgmental towards them on any level, but it’s the position I’ve found myself to be in, without a way out as of yet.

Another issue that arises from that is the definition of friendship itself many people have these days. Sure, I call acquaintances my friends and talk to them if our paths happen to cross, but those people typically just rank in the field of aboves mentioned problem zone. Then there is true friendship; which by my definition is a mutual understanding, respect, acceptance and tolerance which bonds people together and you’ll share the rough and good times and call your friend out if he’s about to do something stupid or just recently done so. Maybe my definition is too pure for how this world works but all in all what I stated takes a lot of honesty, a virtue not many seem to possess these days. The conclusion I just recently came to is that most people (in my age, ~22 (+/-)) can’t even be honest with and towards themselves. If people cannot be honest towards themselves I don’t think I can expect honesty towards other people. I’m certainly not pulling the I’m holier than thou card as we’re all constantly fighting to not be falling for double standards and we will always mess up here and there, but at least I can claim that I’m trying not to and try to stay true to my values, which is more than I can say of many others.

This is pretty much it in a nutshell. Obtaining wisdom seems to be counterproductive if done too early as the world around you will be completely alien to you and represents nothing of depth you want partake in. Of course I may only been unlucky with the choice of my peers and acquaintances, but given my personal experiences the odds of meeting the ‘right people’ appears to be so slim that it would be hardly worth the constant disappointment one faces by mowing through the never ending crowd ‘people’ are.

My motivation isn’t rock bottom yet, though, nor has my road ended yet, so what choice do I have but keep on struggling and striving for the ray of light at the distant end of the tunnel. If nothing else it sounds like that time may be fixing my problems.

Until next time.

Him again!

Yea, me. /sadface

Just realized it’s been half a year since my last semi meaningful post, quite the shame. Well not quite, as I think older posts wrapped my reality up quite accurately and well. What has he been doing?! Not much really. Wasting money on University while enjoying my student ticket that enables me to cruise through the state by bus and train for free. Had some fun 8-bit gigs in cologne, but hardly worth mentioning since most people wouldn’t know what to do with it, even if they heard it. Well, then, two months ago I decided to get myself into gym. Since I’m now muscle packed, armed and borderline insane I suggest you not to fuck around with me anymore. Ever. YOU HEAR ME, EVER!

Now to the real content however. I’ve come across a widely unknown movie recently which I’d like to discuss and bring closer to possible readers. It definitely is a must watch for almost everyone that has a clue about the clockwork society is. If you happen to be one of the clueless ones I suggest you read some older, yet lengthy posts on this very Blog.

The movie I’m talking about is ‘Collapse’, which features Michael Ruppert feeding your brain with information for good 90 minutes without any of them being boring and/or negligible. In fact, the movie could have been twice as long, if not thrice. So, what exactly is the movie about? You have Michael Ruppert, seemingly a broken person (to an extend) that was worn down by life and various other circumstances. He tells you his own past in the movie, while a bit irrelevant or unbelievable due to being movie cliché it still sounds credible due to Michael Ruppert’s own credibility and sympathetic being. I won’t really go into detail here, but I’m sure there’s Wikipedia entries of some sort or another.

Basically, Michael Ruppert been trying for quite some time to get people to listen to him and open their eyes while he also held presentation years back (’04, or maybe it was ’06). Those presentations had the same core topic as the movie itself: The end of society as we know it. Apparently he has called the great and ‘sudden’ financial crisis in ’06 already as the signs were obviously there. Doubt anyone listened to him though. To move away from him however lets get to the movie’s plot.

Michael Ruppert gives you an idea of what happened in the past and is currently going on, namely how the world is currently undergoing a huge revolution, a passive one mind you as hardly anyone sees the bigger picture. He gives various examples and numbers to make his point and his point the following, simple fact: Humankind is running out of oil. Oil? Yes, oil. The movie demonstrates nicely what happens if the oil is gone, which can be summed up as the end of society we know it. How come some may ask? Simple. Without oil our infrastructure dies. No more cars, no more rubber, no more oil based machines, no more planes, no more ships and even maintaining current standards of living will no longer be possible. No more radio transmissions eventually and even the sewers might eventually collapse. Sciencefiction? Hardly, unfortunately.

It’s an unwritten law (or may be documented somewhere) but at a verified fact that every bubble bursts eventually, especially people that work in stocking related areas or in the field of math will verify that after every ‘top’ a ‘bottom’ follows. There is no such thing as unlimited growth. What’s the point? Looking at the population of humanity it’s obvious that before the industrial revolution there was only around 1 to 2 billion people alive – when oil kicked in and humans became able to use it properly we allowed lives to skyrocket and they’re still growing. By now it’s likely that humanity has reached 7 billion people, all thanks due to having learned how to use fossil fuels. It’s a bubble that has grown for the past 200-300 years which must come to an end eventually. You can say that oil, for most part, has allowed us to grow to the extend we have, but what are we going to do without it? Evidently the world isn’t able to support 7 billion human beings in addition to animals and other lifeforms, otherwise we wouldn’t been stuck at the 1 to 2 billion mark for so long.

What more is there to it? Exactly, money will turn useless the day the bubble bursts and the world will inflate in no time. This is the day where rich and poor no longer matters and everything collapses down to being on the same level, with one major difference: Individual skill matters now, more than ever. It’s almost like the medieval again where people that know how to in fact do things will survive the easiest and can make a living off of it, while the current rich are likely to starve upon realization that they can’t eat money bills. Imaginary currency (money) yields no value as it’s mere part of the giant clockwork that’s going to fall onto us.

“I’m certain if any of this was realistically possible, or about to happen, ever, CNN would tell us about in time” – No. You’re an idiot. Please kill yourself before you’ve to starve. There’s no concrete number as to how much oil there’s left across the globe and no one will be stupid enough to say “that’s it, we’re out of oil” – however there’s plenty of indication that we’re past the point where more than half of the available oil has been used up, which means we’re at the sinking end of the oil bubble, where exactly however is to remain unknown. Day X however is inevitable.

Now, everyone has to agree that 7 billion human beings are too much for our world to handle, so what will happen? This is the most intriguing thing as the world’s “elite” surely is aware of the problems that arise eventually and possible even have a time frame for it. Assuming the bomb was go off overnight we’d likely fall into a state of anarchy around the globe and possible civil wars to follow – however, that may be the best case even. Other options that come to mind would be Governments decimating their own population by instilling plagues and other incurable sicknesses to control their population. Just imagine what would happen if the tabac industries would release their cigarettes with some sort of poison – thats quite an instagib right there, for millions if not more. Well, whoever is no friend of such theory, imagine real, official information leaked pre bubble burst. Countries would fight to claim the last galleon of oil for themselves, possible causing a World War whose devastation will decimate humankind to a point the planet could carry the weight again. Needless to say that large portions may be nuclear poisoned by that time. Russia, the States and plenty other countries are likely to have enough nukes at their disposal.

It may be a smart move to pay attention what will happen this worlds poorer countries over the next years and or decade(s). Africa, Afghanistan as well as many more middle eastern countries and possibly south Americas.

YOU ARE PARANOID! No, not really. Just sober and fact oriented. Chances are however that you’re oblivious to facts and this world. Now, admittedly, the movie declines one human aspect strongly. The humans ability to create ‘wonders’, much as big names in the past did before. Here’s the thing however. Either Science has or will have something to replace oil by the time it runs out, or it will not. Assuming Science has it ready, possibly even today, we will not hear nor see about it until the point that oil is about to vanish. Why is that? If you haven’t guessed it already, it’s to preserve the current clockwork of society where the rich only get richer and hold control over the ‘normal people’. If such technology was to be released today there would be great shifts as to who holds the power on their hands. If Science will not have an answer by the time shit hits the fan, up above you can see my personal outline as to how things may turn out.

Now, the most amusing part: You may or may not have agreed with posts in my past and/or my views about categorizing people – however, it’s an undeniable fact that many people couldn’t lit a fire without a lighter. Many people of my generation can’t cook but rely on oven and microwave. What more, they’re so self absorbed, hurr durr style to the point they can’t use a can opener even if it meant their life (which it ironically will mean at that point in time). The point? Our current high society, or stars will be the first to die a pitiful death due to having lived lifes far away from reality, while many share the same factor of dumb by nature that then, too, will die. This leaves the smart cookies and non oblivious people that do their day to day jobs. They aren’t incompetent and realized what they must do to live and maintain their current life. Here’s the thing though, if things were to happen as lets say outlined above, most professions would turn utterly useless. You’re a hairdresser? Well done, but not needed. You’re a programmer? Well done, hope you’ll still be alive when humanity recovers from that downfall, if ever. You’re a car mechanic? Great, with the exception of cars not being of any use more. Basically societies views will turn around in a matter of seconds. Current looked down upon jobs suddenly will be in demand like never before and needed on top of it. Electrician, Plumper, Woodworkers, Farmer – basically all the practical jobs that are currently last choice in most peoples books. Ironic, aye? This makes me ask the question, what do I want from / in life, if I do not happen to be dead by the time this may happens? Integrate myself in the meaningless clockwork and put my faith in science or others to save me, or do I try to learn while I live, to preemptively be prepared (as far as one could possibly be prepared). This question gets even more interesting for people have that children of a young age at this point in time.

Oh well, I can only guess how long it’d take for any of this to become truly reality. If I had to guess I’d say anywhere between another 30 to 50 years, which naturally is plenty of time. Keep in mind that this includes a lot of my own interpretation, which however isn’t all to far fetched, if at all. The movie itself gets my highest recommendation – what you make and take out of it will be entirely your thing, as this is my Blog however, you get my thoughts.

Have a good day !

Dunning – Kruger!

Having been a forum warrior forever, fighter, decider and ruler of what is factual correct and what is not, I came across something wonderful. Another Warhammer fellow of mine included a video in his post, and I couldn’t believe its brilliancy. Credits for me experiencing such greatness solely belong to Shadowwar.

So, what am I talking about? In fact it’s a nice addition to another post I made a while back, which can be found here. Granted, it’s not exactly the same, but I sure did rant a lot about idioticy

Dunning-Kruger discusses the illusion of superiority you face in your daily e-life, if you’re unlucky even in your daily real life in a way it can’t be avoided on top. I’ve not too much to add really, I consider the video quite a masterpiece which sums up a lot of my thoughts in efficient 7 minutes.

The only problem that remains, for everyone, smart or dumb, is to find out where oneself stands in this scheme. That decision all by itself can already be determining whether or not that video applies onto and in what way it does. No help given here however, a question everyone must answer for himself

Take your time to watch it if you have 7 minutes of life, it shall only be rewarding. On that note, this isn’t the only debate video he has on Youtube, other ones aren’t necessarily better / or worse, but this took the cake in terms of awesomeness for me.

Enjoy!

Revelations!

Yes, how I love them! Usually because they always come too late in time. I apologize before hand to everyone that expected something deep to pop here, as I cannot deliver, other than a small status update. I was on Semester break until today, in the belief the new Semester started on Monday the 22nd when it struck me!  The Semester actually started last Monday, the 15th. Sucks to be me? Certainly, assuming I missed anything that is. Not that I’d know though, as I wasn’t there. Makes sense, no?

Anyway, now that I just pulled another all nighter I of course could head to class right now, but since I already missed 3 days I might as well skip the 4th, especially since the classes subject strikes me as rather useless. I hate digital engineering crap, no way around it now, though, I guess. Meh, basically what this means is that my schedule will become slightly more humane and I shall slowly return to the timezone I’m living in. To be precise, I’ll spend slightly less time online as I’ve to sleep a tad more and take a few classes here and there. Nothing dangerous I suppose, unless of course any of you couldn’t live without me. My Warhammer Online time will take a slight dive, naturally, but there’s plenty of jerks to replace me with, if needed

On another random note, I recently gotten more of a life in terms of going out once or twice week. Usually I end up going swimming, so I’m all healthy now and my Adonis like body just gets more perfect as I repeatedly go swim! Weird enough, I don’t get sore muscles anymore, my lungs however die several deaths every time I go. It was a bit of a random act as I haven’t gone swimming for years, as a matter of fact it was quite a pleasant change. I suggest all of you should hop into the closest pool available to you in the near future, it’s refreshing – if not with homies, family or frands, go on your own. That’s the great part about it, don’t need company if you don’t want any.

Considering I’ve to fix my sleep my schedule until tomorrow I’ve to fight another few hours before giving in to my eyes to then enjoy my rock solid beauty sleep, I CAN DO IT. I do it all the time. I’m too fucked up.

Oh well, back to dwelling in self pity!

Children, and what do with them?

Recently I happened to spend a little more time with my brother due to his girl friend being pregnant. Him making me practically an uncle pretty much meant that I had to get myself a bit into their ‘family life’. While doing so I made some observations that were rather surprising, to me anyway. My brothers girlfriend already has two children, one is 8, the other 6, both seem to be extreme hyperactive, most definitely when they’re together, at the expense of my nerves on top of it.

Now, what has that do with anything? I figure it’s a yet-another-rant about generation disparity, funny enough that it’s coming from a 21 year old. So then, when I grew up there was TV already, Power Rangers were awesome, Walkmans were the shit, the superb 90′s, a decade that’s likely to remain untouched other than by its predecessors. I started gaming at the age of 3 or 4, on my uncles C64 – a bit later then, proud son of a dad who was owner of a NES. I too had a gameboy, which undoubtedly contributed to destroying my eye sight, but gameboys defy what I’m gonna rant about in the upcoming paragraphs.

Who here remembers the NES? Well, most definitely everyone that had one, that’s certain. Lets take a look at console development, the fast forward. Soon after the NES the SNES made its grand entrance, followed by the N64, Playstation, Playstation 2, xbox and now the Wii, xbox 360 and Playstation 3. When I was a kid I’d say I actually enjoyed gaming, to an extend that even today I remember soundtracks of NES / Gameboy games, such as Kirby’s Dream Land and most of Ufouria’s tracks. When I was growing up I was member in a soccer a club until the age of approx. 14, this is when I started to mainly focus my free time upon gaming other than exhausting myself running after a ball for 90 minutes on a field that way too big for me to handle. What I remember from my childhood is that I spent a fair chunk in front of my (S)NES while also ‘living on the street’ to a large degree. I think I’ve had a good mix. Some of my favorite games would be Mystic Quest, Zelda II + Link to a Past, Ufouria, Mario World II + III and of course Mario Kart. Note that (S)NES became widely unavailable and sort of face extinction these days. Many games were simple, yet fun. Many also offered multiplayer, enabling brats to play together or competively.

What’s the point of all of this? Well, looking at my brothers current kids it’s simple. My brother has a PS3, both the kids have a Nintendo DS (my nephew, too, has a Nintendo DS) and they spend a lot of time gaming. Funny enough however, they don’t play because it’s fun for them, they play for the sake of playing. Is that failed parenting ? Well, I wouldn’t go down that road on that one, but blame the whole development. Entertainment systems gotten so complex to a level that they’re completely unsuited for children, period. As nice advancement and better graphics are, the development has failed to create content appropriate for the younglings. Maybe it’s just my own nostalgia telling me that, I however certainly think it can be considered a fact.

Ever since the N64 / Playstation the minimum requirements of age / intelligence have shifted, into a direction that those consoles should not be given to kids under the age of at least 8, if not 10 to 12. Today you probably won’t find an household without consoles, computers or TVs as that would most definitely be pure torture to your kids, unless you wanted to make sure they’d suffer during childhood. Games not only gotten too complex for the younglings ever since, but also more bloody and violent. I’m no one that would go so far and forbid my kids (if I had any) to play / see anything in regards to violence, as that’s a part of life and they better learn about early so they can understand / handle things more appropriately but I’d also put my limits as to what to not give into a kids hand.

Ultimately it’s just that I’d want to share my own treasures from back then with the young ones, as I can confirm they’ve contributed to the fun of my lifetime, while also putting me at ease. Needless to say a lot things made me rage as well, but I was never someone to throw my gameboy / controllers around :p Well, what it boils down to, I figure: If you want to hook your children up with gaming consoles, for the love of good begin with the good stuff, which is/was a (S)NES. Yes, their friends might be uber cool for having that xbox 360 and/or PS3, but their friends have also never learned to play games together correctly, as no console today seem to have a serious play-together sentiment anymore, at least not to the extend the old NES consoles did.

Random thoughts, over and out.

Dead she is

Yesterday my dog got the shaft, lastly for her own good. Sometime ago I already mentioned how she had to undergo surgery due to some giant cancer growth. Though at first glance everything healed just fine and she’s gotten more lively again things went downhill overnight almost. A growth almost twice the original size popped overnight and was quite draining on her. The amount of tension was almost unbelievable as it felt like her stomach could pop open at any given time. She was still quite lively given the circumstances and didn’t appear to be in pain but there’s only so much you can account for as a pet owner, and it was evident her life time was to reach an end, unfortunately purely physically. That said my mom made the call and set my dog to good peace, it appeared my dog wasn’t quite ready to die yet mentally, as she fought quite a bit against the narcosis and maintained consciousness for quite some time, eventually however fell asleep just fine.

That said, me and my brother had the glory task of digging her grave and giving her a nice funeral – needless to say it was a dirty deed that is likely to cause me having sore muscles for a few days. I also curse rocks as of today for being inside of the ground, especially at places where I’d like to dig. As I haven’t been around my dog too much the past year it’s not too much of a change for me,  my mom most definitely will have to re-adjust however.

On that note, for possible future dogs I came up with the following guidelines:

• Remain small or alternatively watch your weight >: (
• Cancer resistant!
• Immortality, assuming it’s a cool dog.

Well, we shall see if we’ll ever find one meeting those criterias, somehow I doubt it however.

Wherever one goes when one dies, I hope it’s a good place as that loyal mofo surely deserves only the best treatment, even past her life time.

Nostalgia for what it is worth

So, over the past few days I decided to dig around in the gaming past, last but not least my own, when I finally came across the shiny diamond whose name I forgot over the past 15 years. I’ve been gaming ever since I was little, in fact probably ever since my state of mind could have been considered ‘reliable’, whatever that may mean for 4-5 year olds. Boulder Dash I however played quite a lot on my uncles C64. Still, conscious gaming started with the good ol’ NES. We all remember classics such as Zelda and Zelda II (especially Zelda II, I curse you Shadow Link!) but also other games such as Duck Tales, Super Mario World II + III and of course Tetris. What about the others though, the non mainstream games that were simply godly, but not only that – they too had godly OSTs attached to their far superior game play when compared to their ‘competition’, if you even dare to name them such.

So, what game is it that I’m talking about? None you’re likely to know, unfortunately. The games’ name is ‘Ufouria’, a RPG for the NES created by Sunsoft in the late 80′s / early 90′s. The game was known as ‘Hebereke’ in Asia and never made it to the US to my knowledge. Lucky as I was however, I’ve had it and gotten to play it. Needless to say I loved it and still love it. I just recently played through yet again, after 13-14 years. What delightful memories 8-bit melodies can behold! One would not believe it.

Well, I couldn’t find the games OSTs when I looked for them, not for ‘Ufouria’, nor for ‘Hebereke’, so I looked around and learned how to extract music files out of NSF files and converted them into MP3′s. With that not enough however, considering their rarity, I in the same run learned how to use Windows Movies Makes (what a hard task!) to share my glory achievements with the world.

Well, the result would be this for instance:

Glorious, is it not? I also took the time to upload the remaining tracks the game included, not necessarily worse than the one I posted above, but as it’s been my favorite it only deserves to remain in this post, lastly cause it’s melody been stuck in my head since forever. Whoever likes old NES games and has some spare time to spare here and there should definitely pick this game up, it’ll be well spent time, that I can gurantee.

The video can viewed on youtube itself by following this link.